


Unspoken

by ImpartialGorgon



Category: Dragon Age II, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: BFFs, F/M, Jealousy, Mutual Pining, Pre Trespasser, post Inquisition
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2019-06-26
Packaged: 2020-05-20 00:03:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 1,899
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19366321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ImpartialGorgon/pseuds/ImpartialGorgon
Summary: Hawke makes a detour to pick up Varric on the way home, but finds out she knows less than she thought.What do you do when you’re afraid to lose your best friend?





	1. Chapter 1

“So, let’s hear it.”

They sat around the campfire as Inquisition scouts milled around them, the evening meal more or less eaten. 

Hawke sighed and stretched her boot-shod feet towards the fire. “Weisshaupt was a mess. The Wardens guard their secrets better than most nobles guard their pockets. There were whole areas of the fortress I wasn’t allowed in.” She kicked at the ring of stones. “I was sent to fix things, but they wouldn’t let me DO anything!”

“Secrets and blight, that sounds like quite the party. I can’t imagine why more people aren’t lining up to join,” Dorian joked. 

She could no longer conceal her anger with a light facade. “There was no reason to send me. I was barred from their records, I couldn’t join them for recruiting... They couldn’t even appreciate how I trained their newest ranks!”

“Unrefined louts, can’t appreciate your Kirkwall alley brawling,” Varric lamented between gulps from an unmarked bottle. 

“Truly a travesty I say. When someone actually suggested I grab a mop I knew it was time to go.”

Cassandra’s jaw dropped, “So you just left?”

She shrugged, “The whole of Thedas is rebuilding. I can do more good elsewhere. Besides, I know when I’m not wanted.”

“The events at Chateau Haine prove otherwise.”

She jostled Varric with her knee and stole his drink. “What did I miss between being spat out of the fade and Corypheus dying?”

“Dying again,” He interjected.

“Dying again,” She repeated.

“We ate fancy cheese at an Orlesian party, went swimming in an ancient elven temple, and met up with our shapeshifting friend from Sundermount’s graveyard,” Varric counted off on his fingers. 

“So you’re enjoying a holiday while I do the hard work?”

“Not exactly,” Cassandra scoffed. “We also took in many refugees, helped negotiate the end to a civil war and found out where the red lyrium is coming from.”

“Now that is some good news.”

Varric picked up the story, “Apparently it was being funneled out from the route we took into the deep roads.”

“Varric’s friend Bianca helped us seal it off,” Cassandra added. 

“Bianca?” A startled Hawke blinked at the name. 

“Bianca the dwarf, not Bianca the crossbow. I know how easy it is to mix up the two,” Dorian joked. 

She turned slowly, and redirected the question to Varric, “Bianca?”

He stared intently into the distance while answering. “She’s an old friend,” he offered with an excessively casual air. 

No one spoke, but there was a heaviness between them. The dwarf shifted in his seat almost imperceptibly in response to his companion’s hungry silence. 

Dorian could practically smell the unspoken questions that hung in the air, and took his cue. “I don’t know about the rest of you, but I’m going to sleep.”

“Has she not-?”

“Cassandra, I need your help with something,” he interrupted her mid sentence, practically dragging her away.

The lull in conversation extended further. 

“There were a couple bad decisions that kept getting worse. She came by for help fixing them,” He finally managed, his relaxed tone beginning to strain. 

“That’s unfortunate.”

“And really, it’s my fault in the end. I should have followed up with her.”

“Of course.”

He sighed, and they sat together in silence several minutes more. 

“We don’t have to take turns at watch in these Inquisition camps, so you can turn in whenever you want.” He stood to leave. 

“Not like in the deep roads,” She uttered softly. 

“...No, That was different.” 

His trod slowly to the tent with deliberate steps. 

Hawke remained by the fire, staring at the glowing coals deep within, lost in thought.


	2. Reluctant Conversations

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Nobody’s satisfied, everybody’s upset.

He and Hawke should have shared a tent, but it was clear she hadn’t used the second cot. He scanned the camp for her familiar shape

“She’s quite angry, you know.”

Of course the Seeker was already awake and ready this early. Exactly who Varric did not want to speak to.

“She and Dorian left a while ago.”

“For what?”

“Her exact words were, ‘We’ll save time on the menial tasks if we split up.’ I don’t agree, but she was insistent and they left before I could stop them.”

“Or you didn’t try to stop them. I know from experience you can be very convincing when you want to be.”

“I saw no point in arguing. Besides, finding shards should not be too difficult. We are to meet back here in three days.”

“You and me together alone for the next three days?” He carefully scanned the tree-obstructed horizon once more just to be sure, then muttered in defeat, “She must be furious.”

* * *

They had been following the trail north for over two hours when Dorian stopped abruptly.

“I’d say that’s far enough, let’s hear it.”

“Hear what?” She played innocent. “I could tell you about the time I defeated the Arishok singlehandedly. I also have a few drinking songs you might enjoy.”

“I’m sure I wouldn’t. And you may be a fool but you’re no idiot.”

Hawke bowed low, “Thank you.”

“The real reason we’re traipsing off together.” He stared at her with piercing narrowed eyes.

“Two groups do twice the work. The sooner we finish the sooner we all go home.” As she spoke she restlessly paced around him, kicking stones and snapping twigs.

“Yes, I’ve heard that line already: It was simply about efficiency. Not even the seeker believes that one.”

“Maybe I’ve fallen in love with you and we’re eloping,” Hawke batted her eyes at him.

“I do have that effect on people. No, all this is because Varric never told you about Bianca. You truly didn’t know she came to the Inquisition for help?”

Her body acknowledged the truth before her mouth could. Impatience drained from her and she stilled herself, leaning back against the aging fence with a creak.

“What I don’t know could fill a book.” Her words were weak and tired.

Dorian sat upon a large exposed tree root and smiled. His velvet voice held promises, “Would you like to know?”

* * *

Cassandra scrutinized the writing on the found scroll. “What do you think this means, ‘Beyond Andraste's Mercy, a hundred steps to revelation?’”

The search for shards was progressing well, but by the late afternoon their hunt was sidelined.

“Andraste’s mercy would be the Archon Hessarian’s sword... do you think this means the bandit camp at the Storm Coast?” She scratched her head.

“The Inquisitor sent us for landmarks and shards. She said those words specifically. Now, I may be crazy, but that scroll doesn’t look like either.”

Varric, so skilled at faking a smile and forcing a friendship, was in a sour mood from spending the day with Cassandra. And knowing Hawke was out there somewhere, mad at him, left an anxious knot in his stomach.

“This would be of interest to her,” she asserted. “Ugh, I am no good at puzzles, what can you make of this?” She held the parchment out to him.

He sighed, exasperated, but did not reach for her offering.

“Seeker, we were sent here to solve problems, not to bring her more.”

She did not insist, and lowered her hand slowly. She watched him for several minutes with a softened expression he didn’t know she was capable of.

“Varric... Does Hawke not know... Bianca?” The words were stilted, awkward, but clearly rehearsed.

His face turned red, and as quickly as he was able he snatched the scroll from her hands.

“Andraste’s ass, I’ll solve this riddle for you if you never bring that up again!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I managed to squeak another one out! I’m thinking some arguments would be good for the next one.


	3. Nameless Feelings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Confusion, anger, hurt. Why does she even care? 
> 
> Hawke and Varric get a chance to talk, but nobody’s satisfied.

There were no constants in life. If the Arishok had successfully managed to defeat Hawke he could have read that lesson woven into her bones and sinew. She could only rely upon herself. 

Through the years loss had forced her to seal away parts of her heart. Death and betrayal forced a defense against intimacy, and she was skilled at keeping people at arm’s length. 

Only, she was now learning, that wasn’t quite true.

Why should Bianca even matter to her? And why was her chest hurting?

* * *

After her conversation with Dorian, Hawke made a big show of forgetting all about it. Her laughter was too loud, her smile didn’t reach her eyes and her jokes were cutting, all signs that she was Perfectly Fine, Thank You. 

They traveled, fought the occasional bandit and managed to actually find the odd landmark here and there, but evening in the Emerald Graves comes quickly. The canopy filtered the waning light so completely that travel would have been more risk than advantage, and the Inquisition camps were warm, welcoming and well defended. 

Dorian has guided them to Direstone camp and they settled quickly. Hawke was exhausted, but if she were honest with herself she would be forced to acknowledge that it was more mental than physical. 

She was elbow deep into fleecing the requisitions officer in a game of Diamondback when a conversation caught her ears. 

“Were you able to find many landmarks?” It was Cassandra’s voice that had distracted her. Sweet Andraste’s ass, had they really managed to find the same camp?

“Ah yes, like weeds they are. Mark one and two more pop up.” 

It was deliberate of course; A neutral conversation to avoid addressing the obvious. Keep it light, keep it casual. Well, that wasn’t going to work. 

Hawke leaned back into her chair, and surveyed the situation. Cassandra had sat across from Dorian in front of the fire, but where was Varric? 

“I must admit, the shards feel the same way.” Cassandra’s eyes betrayed her as she slipped a glance Hawke’s direction, then focused a little beyond. 

“Travel is rather difficult with so much red lyrium along the way,” Hawke commented loudly to Nobody in Particular, as she went back to concentrating on her cards. 

“Yeah, that one is on me.” His voice came from her other side. He had sidled up to the table and drew a hand of cards for himself from the top of the pile. 

“You gave the map to someone I don’t know,” her voice was smooth and even. 

“That was a mistake, but I’ve known her a long time. I thought it would be safe with her.” He was looking directly at her, but she refused to meet his gaze

“You trust her, but I don’t.” She stood up from the game and walked away. Varric dropped a coin onto the table and followed. 

“Bianca...” Hawke muttered to herself, then finally looked at him. “Do you trust me?”

“Of course I do, but she and I happened so long ago, it doesn’t even matter now.”

“Doesn’t matter? Is that why you still carrying her around on your back?” They we’re walking uphill now, meandering really. 

“What happened with us, this wasn’t just my secret to keep. It was our lives on the line, and I promised I wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“A promise you keep according to mood apparently.” 

“So I can’t have secrets?”

“Says the man who wrote the book of mine!” She practically shouted. They weren’t very far from camp, there were definitely witnesses for that. 

“Is that what this is about? Are you mad about the book?”

Mute with anger, incapable of forming a comprehensible sentence, she paced away, returned to the fireside, and ineffectively attempted to slam the flaps of the first tent she found. 

Why was she so furious? This didn’t make any sense.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not a perfect chapter, but a finished one. That’s something.

**Author's Note:**

> Never written a chapter thing before, this should be an interesting experiment. 
> 
> WISH ME LUCK!


End file.
